Curated from: Learn - shy
As with all aspects of a sexual journey, there’s no right or wrong, or a fixed number of orgasms or level of pleasure that you have to achieve for it to be a success. As long as it makes you happy, you’re good to go.
But, with how wonderful orgasms can make you feel, you might desire to experience the rush of euphoria immediately after the first, without needing to wait for when your next sexual escapade rolls around. What if we told you that it actually is possible? 🤩🤔
“I’m struggling to even have one orgasm during sex, and now you’re telling me that I could have been having multiple?”
To that, the answer is yes, and multiple orgasms can exist in terms of orgasms on different parts of the body, or even a few orgasms on a single part. Sounds good? Well, here’s everything you need to know about having multiple orgasms.
How are multiple orgasms possible?
How many orgasms a person can have has to do with an individual’s sexual response cycle and their refractory period (which is the resolution stage from the chart above). A refractory period is the time after an orgasm when your body returns to equilibrium and “cools down” before it gets to a place where it can become aroused again.
This works to bring your bodily functions, such as heart rate, circulation, and breathing rate to their baselines. In general, people with vulvas have a much shorter refractory period than people with penises.
The length of a refractory period generally depends on one’s overall health, libido, diet and hydration, and age, and as a rule of thumb, can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few days.
Orgasms for Vulva-owners
Congratulations *sobs violently*, if you have a vagina and clitoris, there’s a high likelihood that you would be able to have multiple orgasms. Other than a really short refractory period that spans a few minutes, you could also have internal and external orgasms.
Although we tend to equate orgasms from a penis with ejaculation, that’s not always the case. In fact, orgasming and ejaculating are two distinct processes. According to sexologist Dr. Ava Cadell, the orgasm happens between two and seven seconds before ejaculation, and ejaculation is the final step of stimulation, involving the release of semen and neurotransmitters that send the body into the refractory period.
While they are able to have multiple orgasms, it does not mean that every orgasm would result in ejaculation.
An orgasm without ejaculation is considered a dry orgasm, where you would still be able to enjoy the feelings of pleasure and release, although a little less intense.
Multiple orgasms can also be achieved by stimulating other areas on the body, such as the nipples or prostate.
If you were wondering if multiple orgasms is just “edging”…
It’s not. In fact, it’s the opposite.
The coined term “Edging” is when you prolong the sexual experience by pulling back every time you or your partner are close to orgasming so that you both can have one really intense orgasm at the end of the sex session. However, multiple orgasms is about experiencing orgasms time and time again in one session.
So, how do I experience multiple orgasms?
Engage your brain
Did you know that the brain is the biggest driver in your sexual experiences? The brain gets turned on by sexual stimuli, then sends a signal to the genitals in order to invite the body to become sexually aroused. Therefore, after your first orgasm, continue to stay connected to your body mentally and physically. Do ensure that your brain and body are both in the right erotic mindset for stimulation, hence you can prep for this by being relaxed, feeling safe and happy with your partner, and by feeling good about your body.
On the flip side, do not put too much pressure on yourself to have multiple orgasms , because when the brain is stressed and unhappy, your arousal levels tend to decrease as well.
Exercise your pelvic floor
Another body part that has a starring role in your orgasm is the pelvic floor, since an orgasm is essentially a series of fast and fluttery pubococcygeus muscle contractions.
If the pelvic floor muscle is toned and fit, it can perform better, pumping more blood to the pelvis that boosts arousal and leading into stronger contractions, hence giving rise to longer and more intense orgasms.
Thankfully for everyone, these pelvic floor strengthening exercises will not require much effort by you, and you can do them from the comfort of wherever you like.
For vulva-owners, try squeezing the muscles (that you would when you’re trying to hold in your pee) between each orgasm-induced contraction, and for penis-owners, try contracting the penis when you are semi-erect. You can try these contractions in normal conditions to see if you can experience the pleasurable feelings of an orgasm, or during an actual orgasm, when you can contract quickly several times.
For penis-owners, the pubococcygeus muscle (a muscle that stretches from the pubic bone to the tail bone) controls ejaculation, so these exercises can help train your body to skip the refractory period, allowing you to orgasm again and again.
Recognise your orgasm triggers
Think of the thoughts or external stimulation that triggers your orgasms, and no, we’re not talking about the act of having sex itself. Be more mindful of the smaller, nuanced signs that indicate when you’re about to have an orgasm, such as a changed breathing pattern, flexing of certain body parts, or even the contracting exercises as mentioned above (*I know that certainly helps me out A LOT). Repeating these behaviours in your body can then let you be psyched into having another orgasm.
Try different types of stimulation
As mentioned earlier, the brain plays a big role in influencing orgasms, and as you probably know, the brain does not deal well with boredom. Likewise, this can be applied to your sexual patterns as well. Therefore, try mixing things up. This can include different types of sex other than just PIV, such as oral, anal, or even self-pleasuring, pleasuring different erogenous zones, testing new positions, or through the introduction of toys that can help to provide new sensations while giving the humans a little break in between.
I tried all these, and nothing happened. What can I do now?
Well, it’s definitely not an issue! The main goal of multiple orgasms is not to tally up a scoreboard of who can hit the most big-O targets, but rather to maximise you and your partner’s pleasure. And if that can be achieved by just one orgasm, then so be it!
Rather, focus on the journey. Take this chance to learn more about your body, what you and your partner like better, and how that can benefit you in future solo or partnered sexual encounters. Experimenting with new types of stimulation can also help to add a little spice into the bedroom, and it can be seen as another bonding activity that the both of you can engage in. You never really know what you might learn from this form of experimentation, and who knows, you might have just unlocked the most pleasurable point on your body.